Top Ten Reasons Why Your Dog’s Haircut Might Cost More
#10 Your hairdresser doesn’t wash and clean your rear end.
#9 You don’t go for weeks without washing or brushing your hair.
#8 Your hairdresser doesn’t have to give you a sanitary trim.
#7 Your hairdresser doesn’t have to clean your ears.
#6 Your hairdresser doesn’t have to remove the boogies from your
#5 You sit still for your hairdresser.
#4 Your haircut doesn’t include a manicure or pedicure.
#3 Your hairdresser only washes and cut the hair on your head.
#2 You don’t bite or scratch your hairdresser.
And the #1 reason why your dog’s haircut might cost more than
#1 The likelihood of you pooping or peeing while your
hair is being cut is slim
(well... we hope anyway J).
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If It’s in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any
6. If I’m chewing something up, all pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and put it down, it
automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, unless I decide it doesn’t matter, or if
it’s a bone or food, it’s mine.
Bubbles in the bubble bath are not food.
Caterpillars are not crawling hors d'oeurves.
Dogs do not like jalapeno peppers. I am a dog.
For at least 24 hours prior to any road trip with my humans I
will abstain from eating: Almond rocca from the cat box, any
rodent (or portion there of), used Barbie beds, or anything that
is apt to give me diarrhea.
I will desist from flipping the kitchen trash lid up each time I
walk by to check for a snack.
I will not conspire with the cat to get the roast thawing on the
I will not eat Duraflame logs. I already have enough fiber in my
I will not get a mouthful of kibble and dribble it across the
kitchen, dining room and living room floor just so Mom (who is
reading in the living room) can see me eat.
When I am through eating, it is not necessary to turn my bowl on
When I drink water, I will remember to swallow.